My B’Day Blog: Venturing in New Territory—Writing BDSM

When I first started out writing in the romantica genre, it was pretty tame except for a few epublishers. And the stuff I wrote was pretty low key also. Of course, you had more than your normal romance story sex scenes, and they were a bit more graphic. But nothing to turn your hair gray.

As I read more ebooks,  the racier the stories were becoming. I also saw what more readers were gravity to. Books with disclaimers like: GRAPHIC CONTENT. MAY OFFEND SOME READERS.  I decided then to up the anti in my writing too. No big deal, just more sex scenes and more conflict between characters, which was something I loved reading anyway.

And just so you know. For those that think it’s easy to write romance/erotica. It ain’t. It’s  harder than mysteries, in my humble opinion. It’s not just a bunch of sex scenes strung together. It has to make sense in the story plot. Yes, the story has to have a plot. LOL

But I digress.

So I read more, listen to my fan base, saw what was selling and made sure I personally liked it as well. Why?

Because if you don’t like a certain genre or topic in particular, you can’t write it with any honesty. Trust me, not matter how hard you try, it will show in your writing that you really; one, don’t like the topic. Two, the genre as a whole makes you feel queasy and three, you’ve done little to no research on the topic.

Well, that wasn’t the case with me. I decided after years of going back and forth and reading the genre, to dabble in BDSM.

Okay, let me first start off by saying, I had preconceived notions about the topic. Whenever I saw BDSM, I cringed. And by the way, ten years ago, there were not a lot of books just sitting on the selves of your local bookstore. You had to know certain authors that wrote those type of books and order them, or go to specialty stores. And these stores were small, on the corner ‘literary’ type stores. And finally, stores that catered to erotica or porn.

When I wanted to read those type of books, I use to go to the counter of my local bookstore and sheepishly ask the person at the register to order the book. Then I‘d pick it up, trying not to look ashamed. Especially since the cover would have a nearly nude woman bound and gagged on it.

SIGH. Those were the days.

Now with the Internet (and the closing of so many brick and mortar bookstores, grrrr), it’s easy to obtain those books. All you have to do is type in BDSM in the search bar and you are inundated with books, magazines, dating sites and of course porno.

I read at least 30 of these types of books in the past five to seven years. From the playful to the real intense to everything in-between. To be honest with you, my taste is somewhere in-between but closer to the tame stuff. LOL

However, that’s not to say I haven’t read some very good heavy material. Bridget Midway writes excellent BDSM, but it’s not for the faint of heart. However, her characters and story line will keep you turning the pages. Yvette Hines is another one. Great character development, Kate Richards and Tara Rose go from the mild to medium.  There is something out there for everyone!

So after reading so many of these books, I decided to dip my toes in the proverbial BDSM pool. I started with House Arrest.

Not really BDSM, more of role play and a little power play, but not what one would consider pure BDSM.

My second book Detention, got a little more into it, but it was more Dom/sub play. Still couldn’t venture into that realm of true BDSM.

Now with my third and current book, Lectures in Discipline, I dive into it with both feet. It’s still on the light to medium side, but it shows more of what the BDSM lifestyle is about. How people interact with each other. I talk about the club scene, equipment used in punishments and pleasure, forms of punishments. It’s also about a woman who is discovering herself at the same time discovering the world of BDSM.

Like me!

I had so many misconception of BDSM. I thought it was one thing and one thing only. I did not realize there were so many shades of—no, I’m not going to say it.

But anyway, the whole lifestyle covers a wide range. It can be very playful, to very intense and emotional. The people who participate in it are normal everyday folks. They can be your neighbor, the mailman. Even that church lady. LOL

Once I realized what BDSM actual is—and isn’t, it became easier to write it. I was able to tap something within myself too, that allowed the honesty to show through in my story also. My characters act genuine without seeming forced. The sex scenes, as well as punishments and rewards are organic. I can honestly say that I had no hardship in writing this story.

Will I write more BDSM stories? Yes.

Will I write more intense BDSM stories? That remains to be seen. I am still growing in this genre and still finding out new things. But as I learn and grow from my research, I can promise you, so will my writing.

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And Don’t forget to go check out my other Lionesses. Gynger Fyer and Eden Royce on their blogs, and a chance to win prizes. Look for those key words!!